What should I do? My boyfriend of 3 years still hasn’t proposed (Vote)

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I’m a 29 year old nurse with no kids. I always pictured myself getting married and starting a family by the age of 30. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and have a great relationship, except for one thing; we’ve been living together for the past 2 years and I don’t know if he’ll ever ask me to marry him. We thought that it would be a smart idea to move in together because we were in love and also knew that we could save money on bills. Sure we’ve talked about marriage on several occasions, but he said that he wanted to wait until he was more financially secure before getting married. He has a really good job working in the IT field. He’s been doing that since I met him. He paid back all of his student loan debts 6 months ago and he still hasn’t popped the question. I don’t know what other type of financial security he’s looking for, but in my opinion he’s doing pretty well for himself. At one point I was hopeful that he would ask me to marry him once he got out of debt, but now I’m starting to think that his “I want to be financially secure” line is just an excuse for him to not ask the question. I’m worried that either he’s too afraid of the commitment or maybe he doesn’t think that I’m the one. Maybe in his mind, I’m just his roommate and he never had any intentions on asking me to marry him.  He’s never given me indication that he’s using me, but I’ve seen how these situations play out in movies and in real life over and over. I don’t want to be that woman who’s constantly pressuring her man to marry her. I wouldn’t want him to resent me later in life because I pressured him into doing something that he really wasn’t ready for. But I also don’t want to continue to waste time on a relationship that’s not going anywhere. I’ve heard the stories too many times about the guy who dated a girl for several years and didn’t ask her to marry him, but as soon as they broke up, he met a new woman and asked her to marry him within 6 months. The last time we talked about it was 3 months ago. He said that he still wasn’t ready and to give him some time. Well I’ve already given him some of the best years of my life. So here is my question:

Our lease is up in 2 months. Should I renew the lease and continue to wait, give him the ultimatum (and risk being resented), or should I just pack my bags and leave?

What should I do? My boyfriend of 3 years still hasn't proposed.
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2 Comments

  1. You can’t and shouldn’t pressure anyone into marriage. Things need to happen organically, but if you’re not happy then leave and be honest about why…that may be the act that pushes him to pop the question.

  2. You’ve already been waiting this long. You might as well keep on waiting.

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